Cobb Collaborative Practice Group

SEPARATED OR CONSIDERING DIVORCE? COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE: A BETTER WAY

Attend a free educational seminar, Saturday April 21, 2012  from 9:30-11:00am at the Smyrna Community Center, 200 Village Green Circle SE, Smyrna, GA 30080. The seminar is led by collaboratively trained family law attorneys, divorce coaches, child specialists and financial professionals.

                                                Topics covered will include:

• Divorce options
• The importance of communication throughout the divorce process
• Learning the foundations of a parenting plan
• Financial issues during and after divorce.

Soundtrack and Movies for Children of Divorce

Also, in preparing for our upcoming presentation on collaborative divorce, I discovered a blog called Generation Ex Files, the web home of author Jen Abbas de Jong. In one post, the author assembled (and invited comments for additional entries) a list of songs to include if children of divorce had a soundtrack.

Jen Abbas has a website, JenAbbas.com, a web home for adult children of divorce. On her site, she writes "Whether your parents divorced when you were a kid or an adult, whether it happened 2 weeks or 20 years ago, you'll find both help and hope here."

As of the date of this post, these are the songs she had included (Many of the songs are included in a player on her page):

"25 Years" from the album Throws Like a Girl by Vroom
"Because of You" from the album Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (VIDEO)
"Blurry" from the album Come Clean by Puddle of Mudd (VIDEO)
"Broken Home" from the album Geek Love by Fan_3
"Broken Home" from the album Infest by Papa Roach (VIDEO)
"Breathing" from the album, No Name Face by Lifehouse (VIDEO)
"Confessions Of A Broken Heart" from the album, A Little More Personal (Raw). by Lindsay Lohan (VIDEO)
"Dance Little Jean" from the album Twenty Years of Dirt by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
"Daughters" from the album Heavier Things by John Mayer (VIDEO)
"Dear Judge" from the album Last Sessions by Ernest Tubb (VIDEO)
"D-I-V-O-R-C-E" from the album Super Hits by Tammy Wynette (VIDEO)
"Don't Give Up" from the album Face of Love by Sanctus Real
"Don't Go" from the album It's Pronounced Five Two by KJ-52
"Eye to Eye" from the album Simple Things by Amy Grant (VIDEO)
"Faheem," from the album, The Undisputed Truth by Brother Ali
"Family Portrait" from the album Missunderztood by Pink (VIDEO)
"Father of Mine" from the album So Much for the Afterglow by Everclear (VIDEO)
"Have I Ever Told You" from the album Have I Ever Told You by FFH 
"Hearts of the Innocent" from the album of the same name by Kutless
"He Didn't Have To Be" from the album Who Needs Pictures by Brad Paisley (VIDEO)
"I Don't Call Him Daddy" from the Greatest Hits vol. 3 album by Kenny Rogers
"I Love You This Much" from the self-titled album by Jimmy Wayne (VIDEO)
"I Wonder" from the album Small Town Girl by Kellie Pickler (VIDEO)
"Jamie" from the album Listen by Cindy Morgan
"Making Me" from the self-titled album by Downhere
"Mommy Don't Love Daddy Anymore" from the album of the same name by Resurrection Band
"Never Been Unloved" from the album Live the Life by Michael W. Smith
"Out of Breath" from the album Stanley Climbfall by Lifehouse (VIDEO)
"Precious" from the Precious single by Depeche Mode (VIDEO)
"Prodigal Dad" from the album Out of My Mind by GS Megaphone
"The Promise" from the album Listen by Cindy Morgan
"Reconcile" from the self-titled album from downhere
"Six-String Rocketeer" from the album Hero by Daily Planet
"So Blue" from the self-titled album by Downhere

"Somewhere In Between" from the album Somewhere In Between by Lifehouse (VIDEO)
"Somewhere Past the Quiet" from the album The Fabric of Verse by Bebo Norman

"Stay Together for the Kids" from their Greatest Hits by Blink 182 (VIDEO)
"Still Waiting" from the self-titled album by Everman
"Stories" from the album Welcome to Diverse City by TobyMac
"Tell Me Why" from the album Empty by Tait
"The Living Years" from The Hits by Mike + the Mechanics (VIDEO)
"Tip of My Heart" from the album Big Blue Sky by Bebo Norman
"Too Bad" from the album Silver Side Up by Nickelback (VIDEO)
"What If I Stumble?" from the album Jesus Freak by dc talk (VIDEO)
"When Love Takes You In" from the album All About Love by Steven Curtis Chapman (VIDEO)
"Who Am I/Grace Flows Down" from the album All Things New by Watermark
"Why Don't Daddy Live Here Anymore" from the album "Queen of the Coast" by Bonnie Owens
"Wonderful" from the album Songs from an American Movie, vol. 1 by Everclear (VIDEO)
"You're My Little Girl" from the album Infectious by Go Fish
"We Gon A Make It" from the self-titled album from Peace of Mind
"Worth it All" from the album, Voice from Home by FFH
"You Better Sit Down Kids" from the album Story by Cher (VIDEO)

In another post, she assembled a list of Divorce Movies: 

Bye Bye Love 
Divorce American Style 
Hope Floats
How to Deal
Kramer vs. Kramer
Liar Liar 
Mrs. Doubtfire 
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 
Stepmom
The Story of Us

 

Kids Draw Their Parents' Splits: Postcards From Splitsville Chronicles Childrens' Divorce Pain

Many of our practice group members met today, preparing for our presentation on August 27, 2011, at the Smyrna Community Center. In working on our presentation, I discovered an article on The Huffington Post's Divorce Blog, featuring Postcards From Splitsville, a website which uses postcards as tools for children of divorce to express the anger, hurt, frustration, and sadness surrounding their parents' splits. "Drawing is a way they can express themselves, and to vent," says Postcards From Splitsville founder Kara Bishop. 

All the images here were created by kids ages 10 to 12. "These tiny little beings have their world rocked and their whole idea of what family is shatters," says Bishop. "You see that in the pictures."

The images are indeed pwerful and chronicle exactly the adverse effects of traditional divorces on children. If parents are going to divorce, there IS a better way: Collaborative Divorce. 

SOURCE: Huffington Post and Postcards From Splitsville

 

Collaborative Divorce: A Safe Place

Collaborative Divorce: A Safe Place is a twenty minute film following the true life story of one couple as they proceed through their own Collaborative Divorce. It is now streaming and available for viewing from the IACP website homepage.

This is the first such film which features actual clients, sharing their thoughts, feelings and experiences in their own words. Cameras rolled through meetings with Collaborative professionals and poignant conversations among the clients. We think you will find it to be a powerful educational piece and hope that this resource will be useful to you as you educate yourself about Collaborative Practice.

Educating the public about Collaborative Practice is a priority for all of us. We hope that this new resource will help move us towards our goal of making Collaborative Practice a recognized option for all of our clients.

 SOURCE:International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

How does Collaborative Practice focus on the future?

Divorce is both an ending and a beginning. Collaborative Practice helps you anticipate and include your need to move forward, and makes the future of your children a top priority. As a more respectful, dignified process, Collaborative Practice supports your family’s goals for a smoother transition to the next stage of your lives.

SOURCE:International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

Is Collaborative Practice a faster way to get a divorce?

Your situation determines how quickly your divorce process proceeds. However, Collaborative Practice can be more direct and efficient. By focusing on problem-solving—instead of blame and grievances—there’s an opportunity to strive for respectful results. Full disclosure and open communications assure that you cover all the issues in a timely manner. And since you settle out of court, there’s no wait for the multiple court dates necessary with conventional divorce.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

How does Collaborative Practice actually work step by step?

When you decide on a Collaborative Practice divorce, each of you hires a Collaborative Practice lawyer. Everyone agrees in writing not to go to court. Next, you meet privately and in face-to-face talks with your lawyers. Additional experts, such as divorce coaches and child and financial specialists, may join the process or are perhaps the first professional that you see. All meetings are intended to produce an honest exchange of information and clear understanding about needs and expectations, especially concerning the well-being of children. Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final divorce agreement.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

How does Collaborative Practice minimize the hostility of many divorces?

The guiding principle of Collaborative Practice is respect. This respectful tone encourages you to show compassion, understanding, and cooperation. Collaborative professionals are trained in non-confrontational negotiation, helping keep discussions productive. The goal of Collaborative Practice is to build a settlement on areas of agreement, not to perpetuate disagreement.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

What is a Collaborative Team?

A Collaborative team is the combination of professionals that you choose to work with to resolve your dispute. It can be simply you and your Collaborative lawyers. In addition to your Collaborative lawyers, you can choose to include a neutral financial professional, divorce coaches, a child specialist or other specialists you and your spouse believe would be helpful. Your "Collaborative team" will guide and support you as problem-solvers, not as adversaries.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

What's the difference between Collaborative Practice and Mediation?

In mediation, an impartial third party (the mediator) assists the negotiations of both parties and tries to help settle your case. However, the mediator cannot give either of you legal advice or be an advocate for either side. If there are lawyers for each of you, they may or may not be present at the mediation sessions, but if they are not present, then you can consult them between mediation sessions. When there’s an agreement, the mediator prepares a draft of the settlement terms for review and editing by both you and your lawyers.

Collaborative Practice allows you both to have lawyers present during the negotiation process to keep settlement as the top priority. The lawyers, who have training similar to mediators, work with their clients and one another to assure a balanced process that’s positive and productive. When there is agreement, a document is drafted by the lawyers, and reviewed and edited by you both until everyone is satisfied.

Both Collaborative Practice and mediation rely on voluntary, free exchange of information and commitment to resolutions respecting everyone’s shared goals. If mediation doesn’t result in a settlement, you may choose to use your counsel in litigation, if this is what you and your lawyer have agreed. In Collaborative Practice, the lawyers and parties sign an agreement aligning everyone’s interests in resolution. It specifically states that the Collaborative attorneys and other professional team members are disqualified from participating in litigation if the Collaborative process ends without reaching an agreement. Your choice of mediation or Collaborative Practice should be made with professional advice.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

What are these new terms: Collaborative Law, Collaborative Practice, the Collaborative process, and Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative Practice has three key elements:

1. The voluntary and free exchange of information.
2. The pledge not to litigate (go to court) and withdrawal of both attorneys and other team professionals if either party litigates.
3. A commitment to respect for both parties' shared goals.

Collaborative Law describes the legal component of Collaborative Practice, made up of you and your attorneys. Collaborative Divorce usually includes other professionals, in addition to your attorneys, such as coaches, child specialists and financial specialists. Collaborative Practice can also apply to disputes involving employment law, probate law, construction law, real property law, and other civil law where continuing relationships exist after the conflict has been resolved.

SOURCE: International Academy of Collaborative Professionals